You Spin Me Right Round
by bloodrosered
Summary: Stu meets Doug's wild twin sister, Ava, whom he develops feelings for since college. After a wild night in Vegas, they attempt to retrace their steps of what happened, all while searching for her brother Doug...in hopes to get him to his wedding on time. Along the way, the two discover love unexpectedly. Stu/OC
1. College Years

_College Years_

Stu remembered her when he first laid eyes on her: the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. Her dark hair in a pixie cut, her dark eyes reminded him of the bottom of the ocean…all the qualities that matched her older brother and his best friend, Doug. This had to be Doug's twin sister that he had seen in some of the pictures. She was dressed in what looked like some kind of uniform: similar to a Catholic school girls but it was much darker, almost like a wicked Halloween costume. She was wearing elbow and knee pads.

"Dougie," said the girl. "You forgot your wallet at home."

"OK," he said, clearly embarrassed. "Thanks, I guess."

"Who's your friend?" she asked. She placed her hand on her hip and stared at Stu. Her eyes were lined with eyeliner and dark eyeshadow, Gothic almost. Her lips were cherry red.

"This is Stuart," he said. "He's one of my friends. He's just visiting. Stu, this is my sister, Ava."

"Hi, Stu," she said, smiling.

Stu was enraptured and didn't know what to say: here he was, clearly a nerd with his thick Coke-bottle glasses, still wearing braces (his teeth were pretty bad), and a plaid shirt and dorky pants talking to his best friend's hot sister.

"Hi…" he squeaked.

Ava laughed, but it wasn't a cruel laugh like most of the girls did to him whenever he spoke to them. It was a laugh that said 'you're funny.'

"So, you coming to my game, Dougie?" she said. "We're gonna be around here sometime this week."

"Do they have beer?"

"Hell, yea! Just tell them you're Roxie Hard Knocks' brother and friends. I'll have tickets waiting there for you…and your friends. If they want to come."

"Of course!" Doug said, excited. "If it involves chicks and fighting, then we're in. I know Phil will want to come."

"Well, duh! Of course he does! How 'bout your friend...Stu?" She batted her eyelashes at him. "He's kinda cute. What do you say, Stewie? You in?"

Stu felt stupid. His tongue felt like it was swelling up and he was sweating. A pretty girl like Ava was talking to him! He was about to speak, but all the words were jumbled in his head.

"OK..." he said.

"Cool! I promise you'll like roller derby. I got good seats."

"Cool. Good luck at your game," Stu said.

"Thanks. Hope to see you there!" She winked at him and clicked her tongue.

Stu felt a tingle inside of him. It made him hard just thinking about her. His blue eyes wandered to entire body: her hourglass waist, her long legs, and her boobs. She turned on her heel and walked out the door. Her skirt swished and he could've sworn he caught a glimpse of her bloomers. Her ass was perfect. He wanted to spank it and send her on her way with a high-pitched squeal of delight.

"What's roller derby?" asked Stu.

"It's chicks on skates, beating each other up. It's pretty cool," he said. "Ava's a tough cookie in the rink. Wait 'til you see her in action."

Stu really wanted to go: be with his best buds, drinking beer, and best of all, watching Ava play.

"I'm in if you and Phil are," he said.

"Cool. Ava will be happy we came."

He went to the roller derby game that weekend with Doug and Phil, who was excited to go. Phil would do anything to watch chicks fight each other. Stu sat in the cheering stands with his friends, cheap beer in hand, watching Ava skate. Man! She was a tough chick! She punched and elbowed other chicks, taking a few blows herself, only to brush it off. Her face fierce like a fighter. It excited him! He really liked her…he never had a crush on any other girl except maybe a teacher in high school.

He decided that he wanted to ask her out right after the game.

Soon as the game was over, he walked over to the girls' locker room, practicing what he would say to Ava when he asked her out. She came out, sweaty and bruised.

"Hey, Stu!" she smiled. "What's up?"

"Um…" he stammered stupidly. "Uh…" He lost his words. "Good game, Ava."

"Thanks!" she smiled, wiping the sweat off. "Glad you guys came. I'll see you around."

Stu realized he would regret that decision for the rest of his life.


	2. Vegas

_Vegas  
_

Stu Price: coke glasses and braces long gone, replaced by perfect teeth and more appropriate looking glasses. He finished his degree in dental school, had a girlfriend named Melissa whom he had dated for three years, and they were living together in a lovely house. Though he had two accomplishments that made him happy, one didn't. Melissa was extremely controlling and mean-spirited, hating pretty much everything that he was forced to agree with her just to keep her happy.

The only place he found solace was with his friends. He'd seen Ava from time to time since she lived with Doug. His feelings for her still remained. He promised himself that he wouldn't reveal his feelings for Ava. At times, he felt he couldn't since Doug was his best friend and this was his sister. He felt he would be violating the Bro Code: don't sleep with your best friend's sister...no matter how hot she is.

Often, whenever Doug or Phil had barbeque parties at their homes, Ava would be there. He couldn't help but stare at her. Sometimes she would play beer pong with him, laughing delightfully with him. She was definitely one-of-the-guys...except she was hot. Other than her roller derby uniform, she wore tight t-shirts with bands or skulls, and jeans with Converse high tops. Her dark hair all spiky and cropped short and her eyes lined black. Her lips cherry red.

Stu liked spending time with her. When he greeted her, she always hugged him tight. He would get a sniff of her, she smelled really nice...and he felt her firm breasts pressed against him. He did all he could not to think about it. She even gave him a friendly kiss on the cheek, which made him tingle. Her cheek was soft when it touched his.

He wanted her so much. He wished he wasn't such a pussy and asked her out the first time he met her.

Melissa suspected that Stu had feelings for Ava: the way he looked at her, how she made him laugh and smile when he was near her. That little slut was not going to steal her man! Melissa did whatever she could to keep him away from her by permanently gluing herself to Stu's side. Ava often made snarky remarks at her, making the boys laugh at her. Bitch!

* * *

Now, Doug was getting married to his girlfriend, Tracy. Phil had planned to throw a bachelor party in Las Vegas. Stu was especially afraid since Melissa would freak if he told her he was going to Vegas. He decided to make up a cover story about them going to Napa Valley and that they were staying in some bed and breakfast at a vineyard.

"Don't forget your Rogaine!" shouted Melissa.

"Rogaine, check," Stu said, throwing it into his toiletries, annoyed.

"And don't forget to _use_ it. I can totally tell because your hair is thinner."

Stu swallowed his hurt and embarrassment. He hated hearing a woman telling him that he was balding. Ava probably would never say that to him.

"Using of the Rogaine, check," he replied, tightening his jaw.

"And make sure you call me when you get to the hotel. Not like the conference in Phoenix. I had to wait two hours for you to call me."

UGH! This bullshit AGAIN! Melissa always called Stu whenever he left to go to dental conferences or leaving anywhere. She thought that he was going to cheat on her while away, which wasn't true. Like he ever would!

"Yea, I was the keynote speaker," Stu replied. "I was late to the podium."

"Still?" she snapped.

"Yea, you're totally right," he said, defeated.

He leaned in to give her a kiss, but she jerked her head away in disgust. What did he do that repulsed her?

"What's the matter?" he asked, confused.

Every time he tried to get close to Melissa, she wouldn't let him touch her. They hadn't been intimate in almost a year. It pained him to think about that she had cheated on him last June on her cruise with some staff member. And _she_ was punishing_ him_? That made no sense! Yet, the guy didn't even come inside her because Melissa was repulsed by any kind of bodily fluids.

"I dunno," she said, sitting on the sofa. "You're going to go to some strip club while you're up there."

"Melissa, we're going to Napa Valley," Stu assured her, sitting next to her. "I don't think they have strip clubs in wine country."

"Well, I'm sure if there_ is_ one, Phil will sniff it out," she said, acidly.

Her jaw jutted out of the wavy curtain of her dull brown hair, her mean eyes glittered behind her horn-rimmed glasses, filled with hateful rage and jealousy. She despised all of Stu's friends, especially Doug's slut of a twin sister, Ava. Melissa was insanely jealous of her: that little whore always flirting with Stu, kissing his cheek, touching him playfully, giving him a hug and pressing her fucking tits into him like she had the right to do so! Stu had to assure Melissa that Ava was Doug's sister and he had absolutely no intention of sleeping with her. She was just a 'one-of-the-guys' friend who happened to be very colorful and friendly. Melissa didn't believe it though.

"It's not going to be like that," he promised. "Besides, you know how I feel about that."

"No, no. It's just boys and their bachelor parties…it's gross." She shuddered in disgust.

Stu nodded like a puppet, even though he didn't agree with her. "You're right…it is…gross."

"Not to mention, it's pathetic. Those places are filthy. And the worst part is that little girl grinding and dry-humping the fucking stage up there…that…"

"That's somebody's daughter up there," they said simultaneously.

Stu sort of faltered that he forced himself to repeat those same words as his girlfriend. He felt like a ventriloquist's dummy saying those words. He might as well be.

"I was just going to say that," Stu added, not even recognizing what the hell he just said.

"I wish your friends were as mature as you were."

"They _are_ mature," Stu said. "I wish you just got to know them better."

"Paging Dr. Faggot!" yelled Phil from outside. "Dr. Faggot!"

Stu blushed, embarrassed since they were using his nickname in front of Melissa. If only he hadn't done that play _Cabaret _in college! Fuck!

"I should go," he said.

"That's a good idea, Dr. Faggot," she replied with cold sarcasm.

"Have a good weekend," he said. "I'll miss you."

He leaned in to give her a kiss, but she leaned away and all he got to kiss was her shoulder. He went outside, carrying his luggage towards the boys. Suddenly, Ava came running up the street, holding her bags. She was dressed in jeans and a black skull t-shirt with her Converses. Her short pixie hair was wild as ever.

"DOUGIE!" she yelled.

Melissa's ears perked up when she heard Ava's voice. Jealously, she came out to investigate. What the fuck was that slut doing here? It was amazing that Doug and her were twins. They were so unalike: Doug was prim and quiet while Ava was wild and loud.

"What is _she_ doing here?" Melissa demanded, pointing an accusing finger at her.

"Relax, Melissa," Ava said. "Dougie's giving me a ride to my game."

"We are?" said Doug, surprised.

"Yea, I told you last night." She rolled her eyes, still smiling. "Jeez! Honestly. You never listen to what I'm saying."

"Game?" Melissa questioned, her mean eyes slitted. "What game?"

"Um...roller derby. Like _duh! _It's in Sacramento, so it's on the way to Napa Valley so I'm hitching a ride. What's your problem?"

"You stay away from Stu!" she warned.

"Jesus, Melissa! What the fuck did you eat for breakfast, Kellogg's Frosted Instant Bitch? Did you forget take your psycho pills this morning as well?"

Phil and Doug laughed really hard. Stu bit his lip, trying to suppress his laughter. Alan, her future brother-in-law, guffawed. The boys really liked Ava since she constantly burned Melissa. Ava didn't like her either. She thought she was a crazy, jealous bitch.

"How DARE you speak to me like that!" she spat venomously.

"Eh, fuck you, Melissa! I don't give a shit what you think. Why don't you sit on this and spin? Maybe it'll take that giant long stick out of your tight asshole."

She gave her the finger with her black and red nail polished finger, then leaped gracefully in the car. They took off in the Mercedes, the boys were laughing so hard, leaving a shocked Melissa standing in the driveway. She pulled out her uniform from her bag.

"OK," she said. "Here's the deal. I know you guys are going to Vegas."

"What?" Phil exclaimed. "How did you know?"

"Are you kidding? I beat it out of Doug. I've been doing it since we were in utero. Not to worry, I'm not crashing your bachelor party. I have a championship game in Vegas and then my team is going out for drinks. Is that going to be a problem?"

"No," said Doug. "Just where do you want me to drop you off?"

"Just drop me off at the Mirage. We reserved a room there and I'm meeting the team there. Here, Stu, hold my bag. I gotta change."

Suddenly, Ava's shirt was pulled up over her head and she was dressed in a black sports bra.

"Ava!" sighed Doug, embarrassed and exasperated. "Really?! Come on! You need to do that now? You can't wait until you get to the hotel?"

"Uh yea! I have to be in uniform when I meet the team. No time to change. Besides, it's not like any of you guys seen this before!"

"I haven't," said Alan, dumbly and almost quietly. Everyone ignored him.

"My friends don't _need_ to see you in your underwear," Doug said.

"Pfft! I'm sure I'm no different from any other woman. Tits, pussy, legs, ass. Right, guys?"

At that moment, Stu heard Meatloaf singing the second chorus line of 'Paradise by the Dashboard Light' and could see her smiling at him seductively and winked at him, the wind blowing behind her, making her hair rippling. Here he was, gazing at his best friend's sister, half naked. Her perfect tits just a few inches from his nose. He wanted to cup them in his hands, maybe take her nipple and suck on it. It would be rough against his tongue and deliciously sweet. Her head thrown back, moaning as he teased her.

Stu began to fantasize about Ava: in the backseat of a car, making out wildly with her, their tongues tangled. Ava undressing, straddling his lap, letting him grope her: one hand on her breast and the other between her legs, stroking her hot pussy. Then, she would unbuckle his belt and pull his pants down, her dark blue eyes glittering seductively and sink right onto his hard cock...ohhh! Stu would give anything to have sex since he hadn't in over a year...except with himself.

"Stu…STU!" said Ava. "Are you OK?"

"Huh?" he said, dumbly, snapping back to reality. "Um…yea, just lost my train of thought…"

Ava smirked. "Were you staring at my boobs?"

Stu lowered his head, blushing, taking off his glasses. "Sorry…I didn't mean..."

"It's OK," she said, smiling gently. "You're a guy...you see a pair of tits in your face, I know you're gonna stare."

Stu laughed, a little uncomfortable. Ava always made him laugh.

She pulled on her team uniform, which was a very demented black and red Catholic schoolgirl uniform. She buttoned up her shirt, which had a skull and crossbones patch on the breast. Her tits were brimming out the top, so inviting and soft. She wore a skull and crossbones necklace that lingered just above the soft valley of her breasts. Her shirt came to her pierced navel that had a red jewel and she had a tattoo of a scorpion.

Phil tried his hardest not to stare yet catching glimpses of her through his sunglasses. Even though he was married happily, it still didn't stop him from sneaking peaks at Ava from time to time. Alan stared vacantly through the rear-view mirror. Doug wanted to bury his face in his hand. Stu...well, Stu tried his best not to stare.

Off came her jeans…Oh God! Her legs were so muscular and smooth and her ankle was tattooed with a wicked rose looped around with thorns that pierced through her flesh. Oh! How Stu would give ANYTHING to feel those legs wrapped around his own! She wore black bikini panties. So sexy! He wanted to pull those panties off with his teeth and worship her hips, she would part her legs and...

"Bag, Stu!" she said, firmly.

"Uh...sorry..."

"Staring at my pussy, are you, you bad boy?" She smirked, cocking an eyebrow.

"No, no!" he denied. "I wasn't..."

"Whatever you say." She shrugged.

She pulled on her short skirt and stepped into bloomers. Then she pulled on her knee high socks gracefully over her legs. Then stepped back into her Converse sneakers.

"Let me have a sip, Phil," she said, reaching for the beer he was holding.

She took a sip. Stu watched as she lazily stuck the lip of the bottle in her mouth...oh! She must be really good at blowjobs, Stu thought. She sighed after taking a sip; her lip gloss left a sparkly, red O on the lip.

"Say, you guys wanna come to the championship?" she said. "I paid for your tickets in case you want to stop by. I dunno. You can come to the after game. We're gonna drink till we pass out. Just send me a text and I'll let you guys know where we're at."

"Really?!" Stu said, excited.

"We'll think about it," said Doug. "We don't know what we're gonna do when we get there."

"Oh, come on!" said Phil. "We always have fun at Ava's roller derby games."

"Is that the one with chicks on skates beating other chicks up?" Alan asked.

Ava thought he was a dumb fuck, but funny. Maybe something was wrong in his head or something.

"Yes, Alan," Ava said, rolling her eyes.

"We're in!" they all said.

Doug dropped Ava off at the Mirage and she waved at them, saying she'd see them later. The four boys drove in complete silence. They had all seen Doug's hot sister undress right in front of them. Doug was a little embarrassed by Ava: she was such a wild thing, flirting with his friends. The only person she didn't hit on was Phil. Yea, she knew he was married, but only engaged in light flirting. Though he was older and was a little overprotective of her, Ava did what she wanted. He couldn't stop her.

"So, Doug..." said Alan, breaking the ice. "Your sister is a hot piece of ass."

"Shut the _FUCK_ up!" Doug said, irritated. "Don't _EVEN_ think about it!"

Stu decided it was best not to ask Doug of dating his sister. Definitely a violation of the Bro Code. He was sure Ava wouldn't care. She did what she wanted.

* * *

Once they arrived at Caesar's Palace, they checked in. The suite they reserved only had two beds. They discussed amongst each other about bunking.

"Come on!" Phil said, annoyed. "What are we, twelve? We gotta have a bigger room!"

"There's a villa on the top floor," said the receptionist. "It's $4,200 per night."

"We'll take it," said Phil.

"I'm not paying for that!" Stu said. He was a little reluctant since he knew Melissa would check the credit card bills. " Melissa checks the statements. Besides, we're not even going to be in the room."

"Just fucking give her the credit card, Stu!" he sighed, exasperated.

Stu gave the receptionist his credit card, already imagining the whole scenario when he got home. Her screaming at him, shaking the paper at him, demanding answers. Now that he thought about it, why the fuck was _she _checking up on him?! That didn't make sense! He never cheated on _her!_

They went up to the suite and were very impressed, especially the view where they could see most of the famous Vegas hotels and casinos. They went to pick out their rooms and shower and change.

Stu started fantasizing while in the shower...imagining a naked Ava, joining him, scrubbing him...covered in soapy suds. Shit! He shouldn't even be thinking about Ava! It was wrong! Well, it wasn't like he was actually cheating on Melissa. There were times when he had some solo sessions, he would think about Ava. That's all his sex life was now: masturbating in the shower...otherwise, it was all downhill.

Once he was done showering, relaxed and relieved a bit. Stu found himself digging out the velvet box in his suitcase. He opened it and looked at the engagement ring. He sighed, content. He decided that once this trip was over, he would propose to Melissa. This ring meant everything to him. It belonged to his grandmother who was a survivor of the Holocaust and had smuggled it out of the country in the stomach of her cat.

Yet, his thoughts kept returning to Ava. He had to admit that probably proposing to Melissa was wrong. He didn't understand why he loved Melissa. He liked Ava. She seemed perfect for him: wild and exciting. He wasn't sure she was the kind of girl who would settle down for life though.

"Guys," he said, taking a deep breath. "I gotta tell you something."

"What is it?" said Phil, sitting on Stu's bed. Stu showed them the ring. "What the fuck is that?"

"I'm...I'm gonna propose to Melissa...after the ceremony, of course." He didn't want to ruin Doug's wedding by making him the center of the attention on his friend's special day.

The guys all groaned exasperated.

"Why? She's such a bitch!" Alan said.

"Honestly, You never listen to a thing I've said to you!" Phil said, exasperated. "Why would you make a lifetime commitment to that bitch...who by the way, cheated on you with a sailor on a cruise?"

Try as he did to deny it, he had to admit they were right. Soon, Doug stepped out for a moment to use the bathroom. Once Doug was out of the room, Alan turned around to make sure he wasn't listening.

"How about that Ava, Stu?" said Alan. "She seems to like you. You should TOTALLY fuck her. You know, get it out of the way while we're in Vegas."

"I can't," he said. "I'm with Melissa...and she's Doug's sister. You don't fuck your best friend's sister."

"Ava doesn't give a shit," said Phil. "She's fucked all of Doug's friends. I heard she's a wild thing."

"Really, Phil!" Stu said, closing his eyes tightly in disgust. "I really don't need to know who she fucked."

Soon, Doug came out. "What are you guys talking about?" he asked.

"Nothing!" said Phil and Stu.

"Stu wants to fuck your sister," Alan blurted out.

Phil and Stu glared at Alan. Where the fuck did Doug find this big-mouthed dumb ass?

Doug's eyes narrowed. A lot of his friends did want to fuck her, but he knew Stu didn't think like that. He respected her; Stu would be nice enough to ask first.

"No, I didn't!" Stu exclaimed, a little flushed.

"Are you kidding?" Alan said. "She was practically stuffing her tits in your face, Stu! I would've..."

"Alan, just shut the _FUCK_ up!" Stu yelled, angrily, red in the face.

"OK, can we all just stop talking about my sister?" Doug said, really tired from hearing about it. "Yes, I know she's very hot. But this is supposed to be _my _night."

"OK, OK, Groomzilla," said Phil, joking. "Let's get this party started!"

* * *

The four guys went to the rooftop of Caesar's palace and made a toast, Alan going on and on about being part of a wolf pack. He was such an idiot. Soon, as he pulled out a knife, saying he wanted to be blood brothers with them, the guys decided that was enough. Alan: biggest, dumbest, craziest fuck ever!

Soon, they went to Ava's championship game. They won of course! It was a grand celebration. They met up with her for a short while. The boys and Ava sat in a booth, ordering drinks. Though Stu was already drunk, he wasn't sure what was happening, but he felt Ava's hand on his inner thigh...slowly stroking it. It went higher and higher, just inches away from his crotch.

"Are you..." he said drunkenly, laughing.

Ava laughed drunkenly as well. Her cheeks were red and she was in good spirits. "What?"

Soon enough, she leaned towards Stu and stuck her tongue in his ear. Melissa was long forgotten and his defenses dropped to the floor as soon as her wet tongue touched him. Ohhhh! He got so hard! She licked and nibbled his ear, her hand stroked his chest and went south of his belt, then her hand slipped stealthily down his pants, feeling his hard cock, which was straining uncomfortably. She stroked it slowly, and ohhhh...He wanted her so bad! It had been too long since he had been touched like that. He couldn't even remember when Melissa last touched him. He bit his lip and groaned so raggedly.

In a flash, she did a short little hop and straddled Stu. OH my GOD! It was like his dream was coming true! His hands splayed on her thighs and stared up at her as she seductively looked into his blue eyes with her dark ocean ones. She plunged her mouth on his, taking him in, her hands threaded through his hair. He tasted her lips: cherries...probably from her lip gloss. Her tongue teased his in an erotic dance, ran along his teeth and all over his mouth. He dared himself to taste Ava: vodka and cherries! Yum! She flicked her tongue against his lips, which he liked.

He could hear hoots and cheers from the guys, but he wasn't sure. He hoped Doug wasn't getting pissed since his twin sister happened to be straddling and making out with him. Either way, they were probably drunk out of their minds and didn't give a shit at this point.

Stu couldn't resist anymore. He grabbed her breast hungrily and kissed her hard. His other hand went between her legs, pushed aside the flimsy material of her panties and plunged a finger inside her, which she gasped. Holy SHIT! She was so hot, tight and wet! He couldn't wait to get his pants off.

"Come on, Stewie!" she whispered. "I'm going to give you a ride of a lifetime."

She took his hand and led him to the bathroom...

What happened after that...he couldn't remember...everything went by in a blur...


	3. The Morning After

_The Morning After_

When the sun came up the next day, Ava woke up in a hotel room. She felt so horrible...oh yea! She remembered her first hangover in college and it was one she sure wouldn't forget.

She found herself in a man's shirt. Oh fuck! Who did she sleep with this time? Not that it mattered since she had plenty drunk one-night stands before. Funny thing, she found a beautiful ring on her finger. OH! FUCK! Not only did she have a one night stand, but she married some dude. Whoever it was, she'd be sure to divorce him right away.

She slid out of the bed, blinking her eyes and rubbing her head painfully. She tried to remember what happened last night...all she remembered was seducing Stu, leading him into the bathroom. He was so drunk and yet, so sweet.

She felt sorry for him for being in such a terrible relationship with that evil bitch called Melissa. She knew she cheated on him that one time and she treated him like crap like _HE_ was the one who did the deed. Well, she decided...why not even the score? Make Stu cheat on Melissa. Hmm...nice touch. Though she was drunk, she would've hit on plenty of guys at the bar they were at. But Stu came to her mind first. She saw he was checking out her when she was half-naked in front of him en route to Vegas.

Besides, he was cute. And a dentist. She smirked, thinking about his oral skills. Oh yes! He proved himself in the bathroom: how he pressed her hard against the bathroom wall, lifting her legs over his shoulders and buried his head into her pussy, licking her clit and fingering her pussy, making her squirm and moan. Then, he stood up and fucked her in a crazy frenzy. He was a starved man. Melissa kept him in a cage and denied him what he needed.

She smiled evilly. OH! She was going to rub this in Melissa face once she got home and would relish seeing her pissed off face.

_Yup, that's right, Melissa. I fucked your boyfriend...and he loved my hot pussy than your cold pussy.  
_

She could hear herself playing The Heavy _How You Like Me Now_, once she told that bitch what she did to her boyfriend.

* * *

Stu woke up on the floor with the worst hangover. He blinked his eyes, his glasses askew and the taste of blood in his mouth. He felt so nauseated and had a nasty headache. He saw the entire villa was trashed: beer cans littered, a chair was burned and still smoking, an ottoman was hanging from the ceiling like a swing, furniture and TVs were destroyed, clothes were strewn on the floor. Even a live chicken was in the room! Oh fuck! This was not good! He was not only going to pay for the room, but the damage that was done to it.

He clapped a hand to his head, feeling nauseous. He heard soft footsteps, seeing the tattooed ankle of a rose...one he recognized. He looked up and saw Ava in his shirt. She looked terrible, yet so sexy in just a shirt: her pixie hair all mussed up; he could see the outlines of her breasts and the hard nipples right through the flimsy material, her bare legs. She made a vague effort to hide some of her lower body.

"Hi," she said, smiling. Then, her face became horrified. "Oh my GOD! What the fuck happened to you?"

"What?" asked Stu. His mouth felt so sore. "Am I missing a tooth?"

She nodded a mm-hmm...suddenly, she hid her mouth behind her hands. Stu picked up a reflective silver plate and examined it, looking horrified beyond belief. She started snorting giggles, covering her mouth.

"My lateral incisor...it's...gone..." he moaned in both agony and humiliation. "How...does it look?"

That's when he saw something glint on her finger...OH GOD! It was his grandmother's Holocaust ring! She was wearing it! What the fuck happened last night?

"You...look...horrible," she said, slowly. "Like a nerdy hillbilly." She kept suppressing her giggles.

"Hey," he said. "Um...not to change the subject, but where did you get that ring?"

"I don't know," she said, looking at it, admiringly. "Whoever it was must've been really sweet. It's a beautiful ring. It must be an antique, maybe an heirloom. I'd hate to keep this thing. I'd better find the guy who gave it to me."

Stu's heart melted a little. She loved it! He wanted to tell her it was his, but maybe if he got to know her a little more. No! He HAD to tell her. Truth be told, it looked better on her than it would on Melissa. Melissa's hands were bony and unpolished. Ava's hands were rough and calloused, yet they were always painted and groomed.

"I'd hate to break the heart of the poor guy of whomever I married," she said. "Not that I'll ask for all his money or anything. I'm not that greedy. Just a quickie divorce."

He realized he put two and two together. He married Ava! How? He didn't know. He had to be sure. He tried to hide his shock. But his heart broke a little. He always knew that Ava wasn't really a girl who would commit, but he grew to care for her. He hoped she would care for him...maybe if he took the time to get to know her a little. Yet, he HAD to tell her about the ring. But first, he should make sure they were married.

"So...did we...?" he asked.

She shrugged. "Your guess is as good as mine. All I remember is the bathroom."

"The bathroom?"

"Oh yes. It's a bit vivid."

Stu was horrified. He cheated on Melissa! With his best friend's sister! Yet, he didn't remember it at all. He was afraid this would happen, not to mention he had done something embarrassing with her.

"Did I do anything stupid?" he asked.

"Oh, NO!" she said. "Not at all!" She smiled gently. "Your oral skills were impressive though. I guess it's true what they say about dentists."

Stu lowered his head, burying his face in his hands.

"And you were...well, very wild. Melissa must keep your cock in a chastity belt. But, nevertheless, your performance was excellent. I don't think a man has ever satisfied me like that before."

"Really?" he said, his eyes lighting up. He wished he could've remembered it, but he was drunk out of his mind.

She nodded, smiling, hugging her knees and gazing at him. She looked so sexy with her bedraggled look, her legs gleamed in the light of the window.

Though it was embarrassing, it was nice to hear that his performance was pleasing to Ava. Melissa was never satisfied with his performance. She always criticized him.. She felt that sex should be on her terms when she wanted it. Never what he wanted. Melissa didn't want to be fingered, have her pussy licked or her mouse double-clicked. She didn't want to try different positions either. She was repulsed by his cock, repulsed by the idea of going down on him or a simple handjob. When they did, it was on her back, laying there like a cold, dead fish with a pained expression on her face, insisting that he pulled out. She was revolted by semen.

Now, they hardly even touched anymore. After that, there was just no point in having sex. Only with himself in the shower since it helped a little. He wondered how he fell in love with such a horrible woman. What happened? What went wrong?

Stu still couldn't get over the fact that he not only cheated on his girlfriend, but he had sex with a woman who he had feelings for, yet she either didn't know about it nor was he sure she would reciprocate. It was wishful thinking, but he hoped so.

"What the fuck are you guys talking about?" said a hungover Alan, who stumbled from behind the bar.

He was missing his pants. Ava looked a little disgusted to see her future brother-in-law with no pants on. She liked Tracy, but Alan was a dumb fuck and had a big mouth.

"Nothing," said Stu.

Alan looked at the two of them and he started chuckling. "Oh...my GOD! You guys fucked, didn't you?"

"No, we didn't!" Stu denied.

"Oh, yes you did! I see red lipstick all over your collar, Stu...plus you two look guilty. Oh my God! Doug is going to be pissed when he finds out."

"Fuck my brother," Ava snapped. "He doesn't need to know who I have sex with, Alan. It's none of his damn business nor is it yours."

"Jesus, Ava! I'm sorry!" he said.

"Well, shall we get coffee? I may need to get some clothes. I left mine at the Mirage."

"You can borrow mine," Stu said. "The pants might be a little big, but I have an extra belt."

"Thanks. I'll return them. I'll see you downstairs then at the pool while you guys get dressed."

She then planted a kiss on Stu's cheek, which made him tingle a little. He touched the spot where she kissed him, smiling to himself.


	4. Missing

_Missing_

Ava went downstairs, waiting for the boys. She bought herself a black bikini...maybe she'd go swimming later. She also got a sun hat to keep the bright sun from hurting her nasty headache. It was nice weather outside. She tied Stu's shirt into a knot at her belly and rolled up the legs of his pants to capris.

She thought about Stu. She really liked him. She had never had feelings for any man before. She merely thought of men as toys she could play with: get a shiny new one and cast aside the old one. She never had a long term relationship either. She always liked being one of the guys: drinking beer, playing football, rough tumbling with them. She enjoyed the company of men more than women.

Stu was different though. He didn't think of her like the other guys did. Plus he was a one-woman man. Someone who wanted a commitment. She wasn't sure she could give that. Plus, she recalled the first day she met him at Doug's college dorm: so nerdy but cute.

She looked at the beautiful ring that was on her finger. She wondered who would've given her such a gift. She got many gifts from men, mostly jewelry or lingerie as thank-yous for giving them great sex. But this was an heirloom. Too precious to keep. She wanted to find the guy who gave it to her.

She sipped her coffee, swinging her leg. She recalled the bathroom incident with Stu. He sure was sweet.

* * *

_Earlier that Night_

_Ava was drunk. Stu, sitting next to her, looked really hot for some reason. Perhaps it was those beer goggles. She touched his thigh, inching slowly towards his weakest point, just to torture him a little. He laughed, but didn't resist. Just to take it up a notch, she leaned towards his ear and stuck her tongue there. He froze for a moment, then relaxed, drawing in a breath. As soon as her hand was down his pants, she found him very hard! Wow! She stroked his length and he groaned, biting his lips._

_She straddled him, just to see how he would react. He did what any man would do: just accepted it and stared at her with his blue eyes burning hungrily. Then, she kissed him, tasting him. He tasted like minty toothpaste. Delicious! Well, he was a dentist. He sure took care of his teeth. Maybe she should as well. He grabbed her breast and the other hand went between her legs, fingering her pussy. OH! She couldn't wait to feel him inside her...if what she remembered from her conquest down his pants. _

_Stu was so passionate with his kisses. He didn't want to let go. He was a starved man, deprived from the one thing he needed most, aside from food and water._

_Ava took his hand, staring into his eyes, filled with sexual hunger and passion, leading him to the bathroom. She locked the door and in an instant, he pressed her against the wall, so animalistic. He ripped her panties to gain access, knelt at her feet and swung both legs over his shoulders and pleasured her most delicate girly parts with precision and excellence. Ohhhh FUCK! So it was true! Dentists had excellent oral skills. She laughed a little while he kept pleasuring her. She threaded his hair through her fingers. She encouraged him with cries of pleasure, not that he needed it. _

_Then, he stood up, his lips wet and kissed her again. She unbuckled his belt and opened his pants, which pooled at his knees. He grabbed her legs and wrapped them around his hips...but, stopped..._

_"What?" she asked. "Why did you stop? Keep going."_

_"I..." he whispered, raggedly. "Are you ready?"_

_She laughed a little. "Oh, Stu!" she said. "You don't need to do that. I'm far from being a virgin, you know."_

_"Y-yea, I know," he admitted, drunk. "But...I want to."_

_It was so sweet. How nice of Stu to ask. Most guys just barreled into her pussy in a frenzy. She nodded and he proceeded to slide inside her hot, wet cavern. Wow! She felt every inch of him stroking inside. He went slow at first, then faster and faster, grunting with such animalistic passion. His glasses were fogged up from their kisses. She removed them and saw how handsome Stu was. He gripped Ava's ass so hard while he fucked her, leaving bruises. _

_"Oh GOD!" he cried. "I'm gonna come! I'm gonna c-"_

_Suddenly, he exploded with an epic, earth-shattering orgasm, crying out loudly into her neck, shuddering so hard. It had been so long and masturbating wasn't doing to for him anymore. Soon as he came, all the tension and stress melted away. He felt very relaxed.  
_

_Though she was just about on the brink, he gave a few more strokes until she succumbed to her own orgasm, which no words could describe it. Toe-curling, electric, pure, ecstatic epic heaven! She herself cried out, digging her nails into Stu's neck, shaking hard and her pussy quivering. She clapped a hand to her head. It was good...more than good, excellent! _

_"Thank you," he said. _

_She merely smiled. "Anytime."_

* * *

Phil and Alan talked amongst themselves about the night before, finding a tiger in the bathroom and a baby in the closet.

"By the way," Alan blurted. "Stu and Ava fucked last night."

"Alan! Would you shut the FUCK up?!" Stu nearly shouted at him, pissed off. He'd yell louder if he didn't have a hangover.

"YOU and Ava?!" Phil said, surprised. "Holy FUCK!" he laughed. "You are one lucky son of a bitch!"

Phil remembered his first time with Ava. They were teenagers and she gave him an awesome blowjob. They were at the Billings house for dinner. Oh! Ava was a devious little minx. She smirked at Phil when she sat next to him and brazenly caressed his inner thigh, inching closer to his crotch. Then, she lightly caressed his balls with her finger. Phil did all he could to hold in his expression of sexual stimulation, feeling the beginnings of a hard-on coming on. He excused himself to the bathroom, throwing cold water on his face. He found Ava, leaning demurely against the bathroom doorway. Then, she took his hand and led him outside to the shed, pulled his pants down and sucked his cock. OHHHH! It was so good and Ava was so talented! He had to shove his fist into his mouth just to keep himself from making noise. She played with his balls, squeezed his ass, stroked him...even played with his taint, something he never expected. When he came, he couldn't help himself and screamed loudly. He heard footsteps outside and the door burst open. Ava dived behind the lawnmower.

Mr. Billings was standing there, his arms akimbo and his face was stern, staring at Phil with his pants around his ankles. He weakly stammered that he was masturbating and needed a private place to do so. Mr. Billings laughed and laughed.

"OK, son," he said. "As long as you're not fooling around with my daughter."

"No, sir," he panted, flushing. He knew that Mr. Billings didn't like anyone with his daughter and was very protective of her.

"Well, get yourself cleaned up and your pants back on before Mrs. Billings sees you and has a heart attack."

Once Mr. Billings was gone, Ava popped up with wet lips. Phil thanked her. She smiled and said that they shouldn't try this again since she felt it was bad luck for her to fuck any of her brother's BEST friends.

"Let's just keep this between us," she said. "Don't be bragging to anyone either. Daddy and Dougie don't need to know."

Stu was so embarrassed. Doug was going to kill him for fucking his sister.

"Doug doesn't need to know about Ava and I," he said. "I'd appreciate it if neither of you told him."

"Oh, come ON!" said Phil. "If I got to home base with Doug's hot slutty sister, I'd be on this hotel rooftop, shouting it to the world."

"He doesn't need to know!" Stu insisted. "If you say one fucking word to Doug about this, I swear I will kill you both." He glared at Alan who he barely knew, yet enough to know he had a big mouth.

"OK, OK!" Phil said, holding up his hands. "We won't tell Doug. Let's just find him first. Dammit, Alan! Put some pants on! It feels really weird asking twice."

Alan disappeared into the back room.

"So, how was she?" Phil asked, grinning. He wanted to hear all the dirty details. He was a little jealous that Stu got to slide into home with Ava. Lucky bastard!

"I don't know," Stu said, blushing. "I don't even remember...I was too drunk."

"Damn! How drunk were you that you couldn't remember fucking her? Man! She sure is hot!"

"Yea..." he said, a little shy. "Yet...I feel guilty. I cheated on Melissa."

"Oh, who the fuck cares, Stu? You evened the score between you. Once you get back, you tell that bitch that you fucked Ava. She hates her anyway."

"I'm not going to do that. That's not right."

"Guys," Alan interrupted. "Doug's not here."

"What do you mean?" said Phil. "Did you check all the rooms?"

"Yea. I don't see him anywhere. Plus his mattress is missing."

"He's gotta be here. He's probably downstairs getting coffee. Call his phone."

Stu patted his pockets, only to find his phone was missing. He borrowed Phil's phone only to hear it ring right in the room. It lay resting on the bar.

"Try Ava. Her number's gotta be in his phone."

Stu pressed Ava's number on Doug's phone.

"Hey, big brother!" said Ava chirped in a sing-songed voice.

"Um...Ava?"

"Hey, Stu!" she said, cheerfully. "What are you doing with Doug's phone?"

"Um...have you seen him?"

"No. When I saw his number pop up, I thought it was him."

"Well...I hate to tell you this, but I think Doug is missing. We can't find him anywhere."

"WHAT?!" she screamed. "But his wedding is in 24 hours. He can't be! Tracy is going to be pissed."

"D-don't worry, Ava. We'll find him. Maybe you can help us retrace our steps. We'll be right down."

"OK...hold on, your pants are ringing," she said.

"What do you..." then he realized his phone was in the pants that Ava was wearing. Melissa! "Don't..."

She put down the phone and heard in horror the whole conversation. Ava had put both phones on speaker.

Ava: Hello?

Melissa: Who the fuck is this?

Ava: Oh, hey, Melissa. It's Ava.

Melissa: Where's Stu?

Ava: Stu's not here.

Melissa: What do you mean he's not here?

Ava: Are you fucking deaf, Melissa? I said he's not here.

Melissa: Why the fuck do you have his phone?

Ava: Because I fucked your boyfriend. He enjoyed every minute of it. Plus, he said likes hot pussy better than cold. Bye, bitch! *BEEP*

Stu's whole body froze and he suddenly heard screaming...only to realize it was him. She fucking told Melissa what he had done. OH FUCK! He was going to get such a tongue lashing from her.

"I can't believe you did that!" he yelled.

"Oh, so what? She'll just think I said that to piss her off."

He felt sick. He can't believe everything that just happened. He wanted to regret that he had sex with Ava, but yet a part of him didn't. He wanted to be with her...maybe this was fate's way of saying that this was right. He hadn't the chance to ask her out in college and now, the moment presented itself and he took it.


	5. Retracing Steps

_Retracing Steps_

Stu was trying to process what had just happened. Ava told Melissa what he had done in Vegas. Yet, he had to calm down! He knew Ava always said things to piss off Melissa. Maybe she would treat it that way...no! She probably wouldn't.

The boys found Ava down by the pool, sipping coffee, dressed in Stu's clothes, wearing a sun hat. She had tied up Stu's tee-shirt into a lazy knot so her belly was exposed. She rolled up the pants into capris, showing off her tattooed ankle. She wore a pair of flip-flops she had bought at shop, showing off her manicured black and red toes. She looked really...hot!

"Hey, guys!" she said, with a smile. "Oh! Where'd you get the baby?"

"We found it in the closet," said Phil.

"Awww. He's so CUTE! Let me hold him!" she simpered.

Stu watched as Ava held the baby, talking baby talk. The baby laughed and reached out to Ava. Wow! Who knew a wild child like Ava could be so maternal? Yet...he couldn't imagine Ava being a mother. Let alone a wife.

"You seem really good with kids, Ava," Stu commented.

"I did community service at a daycare when I was in high school," she said.

Stu smiled. "Wow...that's really neat. I didn't know that."

"Yea. It was fun. I guess you could say I'm kind of a kid myself, enjoying life and not caring about what problems that adults have."

Yea. It was true. Ava was like a kid in a way. She liked having fun! If there was one woman he wanted, it was one like...her. But, Melissa. Was he really going to throw away four years of love? Was it even love with Melissa anymore? He could picture her face right now when he came home to Doug's wedding, screaming at him full of rage for cheating on her and lying to her. Just staring at Ava, he wanted to be with her. He was...in love? Could he be? Ever since he failed at asking her out, he tried to bury his feelings for her, but there she was, awakening those feelings.

"I'm gonna go get some ice," Stu said, cupping his sore face.

"Oh, I'll get it!" she said. She stuck her fingers in a glass of water, then ripped Stu's tee-shirt where the end of the knot was tied off. She made a perfect little ice compress. She pressed it to Stu's face gently with a smile. "Feel better?"

"Yea..." he said, trailing off, looking at her.

When was the last time Melissa took care of him when he got sick or hurt? He wondered to himself. Almost never.

"I'm gonna go look for Doug." he said, getting up.

Stu looked around the hotel for Doug, asking around if they had seen anyone matching Doug's description, all of them said no. He went back.

"I looked everywhere," Stu announced. "I checked gym, casino, front desk...no one's seen Doug."

"He's fine," Ava assured. "He's a big boy. I'm sure he'll find us."

"Don't twins have like...psychic links or something, Ava?" Alan asked. "I saw that somewhere on TV."

Ava rolled her eyes. "That only works on identical twins," she said sarcastically. "Doug and I are fraternal twins: just two different eggs. I don't think either of us had any experience like that at all."

Phil chuckled. "Yea. Calm down, Stu. Seriously, have some juice."

Suddenly, Stu felt the nausea overpower him and he threw up on Ava. She looked disgusted for a moment, but she laughed a bit.

"I...I'm sorry, Ava," he apologized.

"It's OK, Stu," she said. "Let's clean you up."

Grabbing the corners of her shirt, she pulled it over her head...

"NO, NO!" Phil and Stu began to shout, knowing Ava was a wild one. Until they saw she had a black bikini top on, which they heaved a sigh of relief.

"What? You thought I was naked under here?" she said, raising her eyebrows. "I needed _something_ to hold up my girls. Honestly, do you guys think of _nothing _but tits?"

"No," Alan said, still dumbly staring at his future sister-in-law.

Ava wiped the vomit off of Stu's face. "I'm really sorry..."

"It's fine," she said. "I've been puked on many times...kids and adults. It doesn't bother me."

"I'll buy you some clothes. I promise."

"Thank you." Her dark eyes shined.

Stu found himself gazing at Ava's breasts in that black bikini top. He wondered what they were like. Did he ever see them? Did he get to put his mouth on them and taste? He could barely remember. There were bits and pieces he did remember her seducing him at the bar, but he thought it was one of his fantasies...

"So, what's the last thing we remember? Where should we start?" Phil said. "We need to find Doug. We need to retrace our steps of what we last did."

"Last I remember," Alan said, playing with his sunglasses. "We were on the roof, doing shots of Jaeger."

Stu dry heaved, turning his head away from Ava. He didn't want to puke on her again. God forbid he puked on her pants and she took those off. He didn't think he could handle it. Of course, he had seen her undress in the Mercedes before they got to Vegas. Still, what did she look like naked? Surely they had to have done something...she did wake up in his bed, in his shirt and with his grandmother's engagement ring on her finger.

"What do _you _remember last, Ava?" Phil asked, smirking, hoping to get dirty details out of Ava and her conquest with Stu.

"I take it everyone knows about us," Ava said to Stu.

"Yea. But I didn't tell them," he insisted.

Ava rolled her eyes and figured it was big-mouthed Alan.

"Well, last I remember after the game," Ava said, recalling. "Doing shots at the bar. It had a Spanish name to it: erm...oh yea! It was _Mojitos_...Stu and I hooked up in the bathroom...that's pretty much it. After that, it's a blur."

"The bathroom?!" Phil chuckled. "You and Ava in a public bathroom! Well, that's a first, Stu!"

Stu turned red with embarrassment. He felt a little proud that he had sex outside the bedroom for once. Most of his sexual conquests were with Melissa and she _never_ wanted to do it anywhere but the bedroom, said it made her feel exposed. With Ava, she was wild. She certainly didn't care. Lord knows what else he did in Vegas with Ava! Probably did something very risque.

"So, how can we retrace our steps?" asked Stu, hoping to change the subject on him and Ava.

"Well, do you have receipts? Surely, you had to have used credit cards," suggested Ava.

"Good idea!" Phil said. "Ooh! Nice ring, Ava! Where'd you get it?"

"I dunno," she said, shrugging. "I'm hoping to find the Prince Charming who gave it to me. I couldn't keep such a fine heirloom. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. Don't go anywhere, guys!"

"Wait!" Stu said. "Here." He gave Ava some money. "Get yourself a new shirt."

With a spring in her step, she went to the bathroom. The guys laughed again at Stu.

"So, not only did you fuck her," said Phil. "You _married _her! You are one lucky bastard. Melissa is gonna shit bricks when she finds out."

"Look!" Stu said, firmly. "I don't even know if it's for sure. You guys can't tell her. I want to tell her myself when I know for certain."

"Oh my GOD! You _really_ care about her, don't you?" Phil said.

"What?! No! She's Doug's sister! I don't..." Stu denied, feeling his cheeks flush.

"Oh please!" Phil said, rolling his eyes. "It's _so_ obvious. You stare at her all doe-eyed and shit whenever she's around." Suddenly, he became serious. "Really, Stu. You should be with her. I think she's the right girl for you. Dump Melissa and enjoy your spur-of-the-moment marriage with Ava."

"I can't do that!" Stu said. "I don't even know if Ava feels the same way about me."

"Come on, Stu! Grow some balls and tell Ava that you love her."

"But, I hardly know her. All I know is that she likes roller derby, worked in a daycare center as a teenager...and that she and Doug are twins...and she likes classical rock music and punk stuff." He remembered all the band T-shirts she wore all the time.

"Oh, come on! I've seen you guys talk a couple of times. Surely you know more than _that _about her!"

"Er...usually we just bullshit about what going on around us. We've never ACTUALLY talked about...ourselves."

"Well, now's the time, Stu! Don't miss it!"

"What are you guys talking about?" Ava asked, dressed in a button down shirt, which was tied off at the belly and the sleeves rolled up.

"Nothing, just guy talk." Phil said.

"Talking about tits and pussies again?" She smirked, her hand on her hip. "I'm in if you are. Except I don't know if you want to hear me talk about dicks."

Phil laughed. Stu blushed a little.

"No, go ahead," Alan said, dumbly.

Ava rolled her eyes. Stu could help but stare at that belly with the red jewel and the scorpion tattoo. A flash of a memory came to him...kissing that jeweled tattooed belly when he went down on her...oh! FUCK! He had to stop thinking about Ava...and her...soft, tight pussy...that tasted so fucking good! That felt so good when he fingered and fucked her. It felt so...right!

"What's that on your wrist?" asked Ava, pointing to Phil. "It looks like a hospital wristband."

Phil looked at it. "Yea. You're right. I guess we should start there."

"First, we should get the car," said Stu.

He was worried what they could've done to it after their crazy night in Vegas. God forbid they probably wrapped it around a tree or fucked it up really bad. He knew that it belonged to Tracy and Alan's father and Doug's future father-in-law, Sid Garner, and it was a classic Mercedes that he restored. If they showed up with a fucked up car, who knows what he'd do to them? Sid Garner looked like he stepped out of _The Godfather_: big and intimidating. He could fuck them up if he wanted.

The men patted their pockets for a valet parking ticket. They went out front and handed it to the valet. A few minutes later, a police car was driven up.

"Uh...that's not..." Stu began.

"The numbers match on the ticket," said the valet.

Oh FUCK! What did they do?! They reluctantly got into the car and drove towards Desert Palms Hospital. Ava looked around and found some junk on the floor...and some buttons that looked like they had been ripped off.

"Here's some buttons...from someone's shirt," Alan said, dumbly. "Here's some underwear," Alan said, holding it, staring at it vacantly.

Ava blushed, recognizing it. It was her lacy thong that had been practically ripped to shreds. Obviously the buttons were from her shirt.

"That's..that's mine," she admitted, embarrassed, grabbing her tattered panties.

"What's this?" Alan said, holding up a used condom, which had red lipstick on it. "A snakeskin?"

"That's a condom, Alan!" Stu said, aggravated.

He flung the used condom at Stu, making him recoil in disgust. Then, Stu's memory came to him...

* * *

**_Earlier that Evening_**

_Oh FUCK! FUCK! Ava was so fucking hot and wild! They made out in the back seat, her straddling him. He practically ripped open her shirt; buttons burst and flew everywhere as he tore it open. Next her bra, which opened in front, stuffing her tits in his mouth, sucking her velvety rough nipples. She hissed and moaned, throwing her head back..._

_Soon, smirking, with a clink of a belt buckle and hiss of a zipper, Stu's pants were open. Ava's dark head went down on him, her cherry lips...her hot tongue teasing him. OHHhhh! How she stroked him, sucked him. Her lip gloss left a red, sparkly O on his cock. She cupped his balls and played with them...she even licked them...OH! Melissa **NEVER** did that! How good it felt! Then, with a red polished finger, she massaged his taint, looking up at him, seductively. FUCKITY FUCK! He'd never even been touched there! Yet, it felt SOOOOO good!  
_

_"Fuck me, Stu!" she said in a raw voice. "I know you want to. Fuck me hard."_

_"Yes, I want you, Ava!" Stu admitted.  
_

_Down went his pants and his hand went up and ripped her panties, the sound of cloth tearing and...reaching in his pocket, he got a condom and rolled it on, fumbling._

_"Here, let me..." she said, giggling. She did it with such ease. _

_She mounted and rode him hard and fast. Reaching behind, tugging his balls lightly. FUCK! That felt good! Her pussy hot and tight, fitting so perfectly! The sweat and grunts. Tangles of tongues and legs. He could've sworn he heard Meatloaf's** Paradise on the Dashboard Light** on the radio. Soon, Ava started stroking herself...oh! The waves of pleasure from her self-pleasure were radiating right on his cock! Holy FUCK! It felt so FUCKING GOOD! FUCK! FUCK!  
_

_"You like that?" she said in a ragged voice, bucking her hips with wild abandon. _

_"Oh FUCK, yes!" he groaned. "Keep going!" He bit his lip so hard that he was going to draw blood. _

_Just then the second chorus of Meatloaf's **Paradise** happened to play once their orgasm claimed them, crying out loudly...drenched in sweat and sex...breathing so hard and exhausted...  
_

* * *

"Oh fuck!" Stu said. "What did..." He buried his head in his hands, completely embarrassed. He didn't just cheat on Melissa once...but now twice...with Ava.

"You..." Phil laughed. "HOLY FUCKING SHIT! Alright, Stu! A car fuck! When was the last time you had sex in a car?"

Stu couldn't remember the last time he did that. Maybe with Melissa...midway, she insisted that they go home...she didn't like being out in the open. This surely had to be a first as well. First, in a public bathroom, then in a police car...what else did he do with Ava? God forbid...

Ava couldn't help but smile. She had fucked plenty of guys in cars.

"Wow!" she said. "Well, that's a first for me. I don't think I've done it in a cop car before."

"Damn, Ava!" said Phil. "Do you _ever _stop being slutty? Seriously, is there _any_ place you _haven't _fucked a guy?" He laughed.

"Nope," she said, smiling. "I've always wanted to fuck a cop...and I would've. Damn cop was gay when he pulled me over for my tail light being out."

"Let's just get to Desert Palm Hospital," Stu said, trying to change the subject. He wanted to get his mind off of his cheating debauchery that he did with Ava. He didn't need to hear anymore.

Once the arrived at Desert Palm Hospital, Phil asked the doctor about his wristband.

"Yea," he said. "You came in with a slight concussion. You were fine. We did some blood work on you, Mr. Wenneck...I'll go get it for you."

While waiting, Ava looked over at very disturbed Stu: head buried in his hands, his hair all up through his fingers, looking flustered.

"Are you alright, Stu? Do you want to talk about it?" she asked.

"Talk about what?" Stu said, irritated. "I cheated, not just once but twice! How many times we did it, I don't know! You have no idea how much this bothers me. This goes against everything I believe in. I've been with Melissa for three years and I've never cheated on her. And you go and pull a stunt like that, telling her we fucked! You have any idea how upsetting that is?"

Ava looked at him with soft eyes. She hated Melissa, yet she understood. She recalled a few relationships she had wrecked in her life. How many visits she got from angry girlfriends, fiancees...even wives. She liked having sex, but it wasn't her fault she didn't know she was the 'other' woman. She always took extra precautions not to have sex with married men or in committed relationships. She flirted, but never fucked them. Well, there were exceptions: if one cheated and they wanted to even it out, fine. But seeing how upsetting this was to Stu, she realized how insensitive she was.

"I'm sorry, Stu," she said. "I was just being me. I didn't know you felt that way. I won't do it again."

He sighed, rubbing his head. He felt terrible yelling at her. "Thank you. This is really hard for me to wrap my head around. I'm sorry I was a bastard to you."

"It's OK, Stu. No harm done."

He smiled. Yet, why would someone so attractive like Ava would have sex with him was beyond him. He had to know why.

"So...why did you...? You know..." he asked, shy.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I...just...want to know why you chose me. I mean, I know I'm not your type."

Ava smiled, rolling her eyes. "Stu, I've dated dentists before."

He laughed. "I don't mean _that_. I mean, I'm not exactly...you know."

"No, that's not true. You're a _very_ attractive, good-looking guy, Stu. And you know it."

Stu blushed, beaming. Melissa hardly said those things anymore to him. She always emasculated him by pointing out his flaws: his thinning hair, his flat ass, how he had a little bit of a paunch in his belly, and his clothes didn't hang on him right. It was nice to hear that he was still good looking.

"And I've dated plenty of dorky guys...and I don't mean fucked them. I mean, sometimes I do, but that's not my point. The point is that I go on dates all the time."

"Really? I didn't know that."

"Well, there's guys I like to date and guys I like to screw. I'm not a _total_ slut. I like to get to know some guys...if they're worth pursuing."

Stu chuckled a little. "So, what would I be...in your category of date or screw?"

Ava shrugged. "You're a tough one, I'll admit. I guess, date first."

"Good to hear," he said, pleased. "Would you ever...you know, want a relationship...you know, long-term?"

Ava shrugged. "Maybe. If I met the right guy. I mean, there's been a few that I wanted to, but I always felt...something was always missing. I don't know. I never felt that connection with them. If I fell in love with a guy, I would know it right away. I feel like a spark inside of me, like I was hit by a lightning bolt. There has been a few times, but I guess it didn't hit me hard enough. It sounds stupid, I know."

"No, not at all," Stu admitted. "It's...nice."

Stu liked hearing this. He wondered whether Ava felt that connection with him. Well, he had feelings for her. He certainly felt warm and fuzzy inside near Ava. He still could feel that kiss at _Mojitos_. How soft her lips were, the cherry taste from her lip gloss...how he completely surrendered to her. He wished he could relive it again.

Soon, the doctor came back with the chart and read it. "Well, Mr. Wenneck, it turns out you had Rohypnol in your system."

WHAT?! Roofies! Where the fuck did they get Roofies?! No wonder they couldn't remember anything!

"Where did we come from?" asked Phil. "Could you give us an idea?"

"Um...well...you guys came from a chapel...I believe it was called The Best Little Chapel. Someone got married..." The doctor looked over at Ava and Stu. "Hey! I remember you two! Man, I've never seen two people so in love. I almost called security, just to separate you two."

Ava shrugged. "Yea. I'm a wild one. I know. Sorry about that. Did we do anything embarrassing?"

"Oh no! You were kissing, that's all. It was adorable...a little much though."

"OK, let's go to the Best Little Chapel and see where we go from here," said Phil.


	6. Dr and Mrs Stuart Price

_Dr. and Mrs. Stuart Price  
_

The three men, the girl and a baby drove out to the Best Little Chapel. It was a tiny white chapel with a glaring sign that loudly announced its name in lights with a big pink heart.

"What about the baby?" asked Stu.

"Just leave him in the car," Phil said. "He'll be fine. I cracked the window."

"You're an idiot, Phil!" snapped Ava. "You NEVER leave a baby in the car! It gets very hot in Vegas so I wouldn't leave him in here even with the window cracked. I'll hold him. You guys do the talking."

"Damn, Ava!" Phil said. "I didn't know you had motherly instincts."

"Well, maybe if you were more of a responsible parent..."

"Hey! I don't come to _your_ house and judge you...especially who's in your bed."

"I worked at a day care, Phil. I know how to deal with kids. You need to stop acting like an asshole and take responsibility."

"Bitch!" he murmured.

"I hope you didn't call me a bitch, Phil. Because I will kick your ass!"

"OK! OK! I'm sorry, Ava."

They went inside, which was your typical Vegas chapel with gold curtains, cheesy carpeting...and a register near the entrance. They looked around for someone inside. There was a man at the front, decorating with a woman.

"Excuse me?" said Phil.

"Hey!" said the Middle-Eastern man. "Look at these guys! You miss me?! You miss Eddie? How are you, my friend?" He hugged the boys, who looked very confused. "Oh! Hello, lady!" He took Ava's hand and kissed it, which she blushed and smiled. "Listen, you guys, I've known some sick people in all of my life. This guy," he gestured to Stu. "Is the craziest, wildest bastard I've ever seen. I mean..."

"Wait, wait! What do you mean?" Phil asked. "Him?" He pointed to Stu.

"Yea."

"So, could you help us? We're looking for our friend, Doug. You remember him. He's...her brother..."

"Ah!" said Eddie. "Yes. Small guy, like a monkey." He gestured to Ava. "You two sure looked alike. I thought you were siblings, pretty lady."

"Yes. We're twins."

"So, is there anything you tell us what may have happened last night?" said Stu.

"You don't remember?" Eddie said. "You..and this pretty lady! Crazy...all over each other...like two wild animals..."

"Ugh! Did we fuck in your chapel?" Ava groaned. "I'm really sorry."

"No, no!" Eddie said. "You came in...with this other pretty lady, a blonde. I mean...this guy, really crazy! He not only wanted to get married not to you..." he gestured to Ava. "But TWO pretty ladies! But sadly, I cannot do that...legally. He had to pick. So, he picked...you. The other lady, you said she could be your maid of honor."

"Uh...excuse me?" Ava said.

"Yes. You and this guy," he pointed to Stu. "I marry you guys. You don't remember?"

* * *

_Earlier that Night  
_

_Ava and Stu were falling down drunk, laughing. Her shirt was wide open, her breasts were practically spilling out of her bra. They couldn't keep their hands off of each other. Stu had his arms wrapped around Ava and a blonde woman, holding a beer in one hand. _

_They pulled into the parking lot of The Best Little Chapel. The boys and the girls stumbled in. _

_"Hello!" said an overly friendly voice of Eddie, the owner of The Best Little Chapel. "Welcome to the Best Little Chapel. Where your dream wedding comes true. Who is getting married today?"_

_"I am!" Stu announced, still giggling._

_"Well, congratulations! So, who are you marrying today?"_

_"Both of these pretty ladies." He sniggered. He kissed both of them. Hot! Two women, two sets of tits._

_"Oh, Stu! How honored! We're gonna have a double wedding!" Ava cooed, clapping her hands like a child. _

_"Well, I have no problem with polygamy, sir," Eddie said, a bit uneasy. "But, legally, I can't do that. You know, laws and shit, here. You might have to choose."  
_

_"Then," he looked over at Ava. "I' pick this one." He knelt down, fumbling for the velvet box that contained his grandmother's ring. "Ava Genevieve Billings, would you do me the honor...of being my wife?"_

_"Oooh! Really, Stewie?!" Ava squealed. "I'd love to! I'm gonna be a bride!" She looked over at the blonde. "Sorry, you didn't get picked, Jade."  
_

_"Oh, it's OK," said Jade with a smile. _

_"Say!" Ava said, even more excited. "You could be my maid of honor! You're such a good friend."_

_"Oh, thank you, Ava. You don't have to do that. I'd be very honored."  
_

_"Well, are we getting married or what, Stewie?" Ava said. "Oh...I look terrible."_

_"That's not true, Ava," he said. "You're...very hot."_

_"I have a dress if you want to use," said Eddie. "You can keep it. It was a left-behind by a bride."_

_"Sweet! Jade can help me get dressed. Can't see the bride before her wedding, right?" She grabbed Jade's hand and the dress. "Do you have a bathroom?"_

_He pointed to the back, which Jade led the way to the bathroom. Ava wriggled out of clothes that were practically torn up. Her panties were practically shredded, which she tossed in the trash. Jade helped with the dress. Ava was trembling with excitement._

_"Oh! I'm so nervous, Jade," she said with a tremor. "Do you think Stu will like me like this?"  
_

_"Of course! He genuinely seems to care about you, Ava." She looked her over. "You look very beautiful."  
_

_"Aw, thanks, Jade. You're a sweetie."  
_

_Soon, Jade went outside to let Eddie know that Ava was ready. _

_Outside, the boys dressed in matching blue tuxedos like one would wear at the prom. Stu was nervous._

_"Are you OK with me...marrying your sister?" Stu said._

_"Of course, Stu!" Doug said. "You've always been good to her. Glad you never fucked her like all my other friends did."_

_Phil looked up at the ceiling, feeling a bit guilty. Well, he didn't technically fuck Ava, just a blowjob. But like Ava said: Dougie doesn't need to know._

_Doug went to the bathroom to find his sister._

_"What are you doing here, Dougie?" she said. "This is the ladies' room."_

_"I know. But I thought I'd walk my little sister down the aisle since she's getting married to my friend."_

_"Oh!" she said, tears coming. She started sobbing. "I love you, big brother!" She hugged him._

_"I love you too, Ava."_

_Eddie cued the music as Doug walked Ava down the aisle towards her groom. She was shaking like a leaf as she saw how handsome Stu was. Once at the alter, Doug gave his sister a hug and a cheek peck and guided her hand to her new husband-to-be. Ava and Stu stared at each other, adoringly. Or was it...drunkenness? She didn't know what was real anymore...nor did she give a shit.  
_

_Eddie rambled on and on with the wedding vows. Ava and Stu shook with impatience, but might as well. _

_"Do you, Stuart Isaac Price, take thee Ava to be your lawful wedded wife, for richer or poorer..."_

_"I do!" Stu said, interrupting. Ava giggled. _

_"Very well. Do you Ava Genevieve Billings, take thee Stu to be your lawful wedded husband..."_

_"YES! I do! I dooo!" she interrupted as well, squealing. _

_"Very well. By the power vested in me in the state of Nevada, I now pronounce you husband and wife." Eddie said. "Put the ring on, Stu."_

_Stu fumbled for the velvet box in his hand and took his grandmother's ring out and slid it on Ava's polished, callous finger. She was near tears as she looked at it._

_"Oh, STU!" she sighed. "It's beautiful. I didn't know you had this!"_

_"It's...for you, Ava," he said, shyly. "I want you to have it. It was my grandmothers...and now it's yours...because you're a part of me now."_

_"Oh, that's so sweet!" she simpered. "I'm glad to be part of your life, Stuart."_

_"Go ahead and kiss that bride, Stuart!" Eddie said._

_Stu bent Ava backwards like he would in a romance novel...and kissed his new bride. Ava Genevieve Price. Hmm...nice ring to it!_

* * *

Ava looked at Stu. She couldn't believe her ears! She married Stu?! So_ this_ was the man she not only fucked, but married. Oh MY GOD! What the fuck did she drink last night?

"Wait a minute, wait a minute," Ava said, holding her hands up. "I...and him...?"

"Yes! You two were all over each other! We had to give you a dress. Let's just say you were a bit indecent. But no problem."

He pulled out the photo album and showed them the wedding. There was Ava, dressed in a slinky white dress and a horrible wedding hat, looking drunk. Stu looked really happy in one picture with her. Like a husband and wife. The four men were dressed in blue outfits like one would see at the prom. There was a blonde woman with Ava, hugging each other like they were best friends. There was Stu and Ava, sharing a kiss. Her showing off her ring on Stu's back, giving him a piggy back ride. Stu had his hand on Ava's breast, which she was laughing. It looked...so...real. They looked really happy.

"This...can't be real," Stu said, his voice shaking.

"You got married Stu!" Alan said, happy. "That's great!"

"So, _this _was your ring?" Ava said, looking at it. "Why didn't you tell me earlier at the hotel, Stu?"

Stu looked ashamed. "Look, I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier. I...I wanted to be sure first. I should've told you."

Ava swallowed, feeling sick. "I...I need to get some air," she said. "I'll be at the car."

Stu watched as Ava went outside, holding the baby. He looked at her and sighed. His heart broke a bit, knowing Ava had said earlier that she would want an annulment. But how was he supposed to tell her his feelings now? He had done a crazy thing like this and now it was going to end.

"I gotta say, Stu," said Phil. "You two seriously look happy in these photos. I mean, look how real that kiss is. That is a sign of a man in love."

"Yea," said Stu, looking at Ava. "But, I don't know if she feels that way about me."

"COME ON! Just tell her! Stop wasting your time, Stu! She needs to know. What's the worst she can do?"

"I married her, Phil! I know she wants an annulment once this is over. I don't think she wants to be with me."

"That doesn't mean it ends today. Just go talk to her!"

Soon, Eddie came out with boxes.

"What's all this?" asked Phil.

"The package you ordered," Eddie explained. "Coffee mugs, baseball caps, calendars of Stu and Ava."

Stu put his hands up to his neck, his heart ached. He could only imagine how Ava was handling this.

"Go...fucking...talk to Ava!" Phil said, slowly.

Stu went outside to join Ava, who was leaning against the car, staring out at the Vegas boulevard. Her face was very solemn.

"Hi," he said quietly.

Ava smiled uncomfortably. "Hi."

"I guess...now I'm your husband," he began.

"Yea." Ava twisted the ring on her finger, looking at it. It was beautiful, yet she couldn't keep such a valuable thing. "I guess...you want this back."

Stu wanted to say yes, but a part of him wanted her to have it. "Well...just hold onto it for now. I don't want to lose it." Sucking in his lips, unsure of how to approach this delicate topic. "Do you still want an annulment?"

"I think it would be best." She sighed.

Stu's heart broke some more, feeling tears coming, but brushed them away. "Could you do something for me first?"

Ava looked at Stu. "It depends."

"Could we just...get to know each other...you know, stay married until we find Doug? I'd like to...you know...experience it for once...with you."

Ava raised an eyebrow. It was a very strange request. "'Get to know me?' You've known me for YEARS, Stu! Surely, you haven't forgotten."

"No, no. But, I feel like I don't know you too well. I know we just bullshit at Doug's whenever we see each other. And I promise, we can get our...marriage annulled once this is all over."

Ava shrugged. Why not? It's not like she had done a lot of crazy shit in her life. Being Stu's wife for 48 hours. Hmm...maybe she should rub that in Melissa's face. _Bitch, I fucked and married your boyfriend! Ha ha!_

"I guess. If that's what you want, Stu. I'll be happy to oblige. Well, I'm Mrs. Stuart Price now. What do you want to know about me?"

Stu had to think hard. How does one start a conversation with Ava? He had to think of some topics.

"Um...what's your favorite color?"

"Red and black."

"That's two colors." He rolled his eyes.

"What can I say? I like two things. I'm a twin."

Stu chuckled. "True. What's your favorite food?"

"Pizza and Mexican."

"Again. Two things."

"I eat both of them at the same time. It's quite delicious actually. I once made a Mexican pizza with fresh guacamole and ground turkey."

Stu smiled. "I think I'd like to try that."

"Well, I usually order take-out. I'm so lazy!" she laughed. "That's the only good thing I know how to make."

"What's your favorite music?"

"Classic rock. Alice Cooper, AC/DC, Meatloaf. You know, all the good ones."

"I like them too." He smiled. Leaning against the car, he looked at her, dark hair blowing in the wind. "I think...when we had sex...in the cop car, I heard Meatloaf's _Paradise on the Dashboard Light_."

"Really?! Huh! Interesting. I love that song! I lost my virginity to that song."

"So did I!" he said, excited. "I did it at my senior prom. In the broom closet with my date, Marlene Feffer." He sighed, reminiscing. "It was horrible. She had braces and they got caught on my cock. Never again will I have another blowjob from a girl with braces."

"Me: junior prom. With the principal on his office desk. Let's just say he never gave me another detention after that."

So Stu and Ava had some things in common. She sighed.

"So, what do you do? For a job I mean." asked Stu.

Ava felt a little embarrassed. "Well, there's roller derby."

She didn't want Stu to know she was a free-loader, still living with her brother, unemployed. In college, she lived with a group of free-loaders whose parents paid rent and utilities in one big house.

Of course, she had roller derby. She remembered the first time her Dad bought her red and gold roller skates when she was ten years old. That's all she wanted to do until dark. When she played roller derby for the first time, she felt that passion rise. All she wanted to do was play roller derby, even professionally.

Soon, her parents told her it was time to stop holding onto this ridiculous dream and grow up. But she didn't want to let go of the one dream that she held dear. They cut off her money and she had to move out of her only home. Her parents refused to let her come back. Doug felt sorry for his sister. He didn't want her to be homeless and decided to take her in. She appreciated it and did what she could to help out around Doug's home. She applied to many jobs, but no responses. It didn't help that she only had a high school degree.

"Well...I honestly, I don't do anything, really," she said, blushing. "I guess...I never cared for work. I don't know why. But...I can tell you, I have found something I like. I'm taking online classes. I want to become a kindergarten teacher's aide. I like working with kids. I also like coloring, snack time...and of course, nap time."

Stu smiled. "Well...that's good."

Ava looked at Stu's ring. Of all the women in the world. He could've married that blonde girl...yet, he chose her. Why? She didn't understand. Did he...love her? Curious...

"This ring is beautiful, Stu. Where did you get it? I mean, I know it has to be an heirloom." She looked at the beautiful diamond, which was encircled by smaller diamonds on a white gold band.

"It belonged to my grandmother," he said. He told her the story about his grandmother and her survival of the Holocaust.

"That's a great story. She sounds very brave to survive the whole ordeal. I have so much respect for people like that."

"She was. Yes."

Stu thought about it. Maybe his family wouldn't approve of Ava. Too wild for his conservative Jewish family, who would take one look at her and give looks of disapproval. They certainly wouldn't allow Stu to marry, let alone be buried in a cemetery with a tattooed and pierced wild child like Ava Billings. Yet, would Ava convert to Judaism? Would she be willing to?

"How do you feel about...religion? I'm just curious."

"Me? Oh, I like the idea of having a spiritual belief in a higher power. I mean, I believe in God, of course. I like to think of him as an all-loving and forgiving entity. I don't really care too much for attending places of worship...unless it's a wedding or funeral."

"Well, you know I'm Jewish, right?"

"I figured when you told me about your Holocaust surviving grandmother. One question: do you eat Kosher?"

"Would that bother you?"

"Oh, no! I'm fine with that. I might have to learn about Kosher cooking if I have to. I will tell you that I really love my pork, especially bacon. But I promise to cook it separate from your food if I have to. I can't eat shellfish anyway because I'm allergic, so you're good there. I guess I can live with Hanukkah and all the Jewish holidays and traditions as well. As long as I get my Christmas party. I love a good Christmas party. I gotta have my eggnog with rum."

Stu couldn't believe what he was hearing. He was surprised how serious she was. She was willing to do all of those things for him.

"Really?"

"Of course! If it's important to you, then I have enough respect for people who are serious about their beliefs."

"You don't have to do that. You can eat all the pork in the world if you wanted. I wouldn't be offended. I eat pork myself...honestly, I don't care."

Ava giggled a little. "Well, you're a dirty, dirty Jew boy." she joked. "Want me to spank your naughty Jew ass?"

Stu blushed a little. All of a sudden...he had an image of Ava, dressed in a dominatrix outfit, spanking him, saying that line...

_You're a dirty Jew boy, Stewie! You need to be spanked.  
_

_Yes, mistress! Spank me! I've been a bad boy!_

"What?" Ava said, notice Stu's smirk.

"Er...nothing. Just thinking. That's all."

"Dirty little things? You're picturing me spanking you, aren't you?"

"No, no! I'm not!" He flushed. He wasn't going to tell her that. She'd probably think he was a pervert.

"It's OK, Stu," Ava assured. "You can tell me anything without being embarrassed. I won't judge you. You could tell me all of your dirtiest fantasies. Hell, if you had something in mind you wanted to do in the bedroom, I wouldn't mind."

"Really?"

"Why not?" She shrugged. "Just as long as it doesn't involve animals, blood, piss, shit or strangling. I don't do that stuff. It's creepy...not to mention cruel to animals. That's mean."

"No, no. That's...fine. I don't like that stuff either."

He swallowed a bit uncomfortable. There was a long silence between the two of them. What else would Ava be willing to do in the bedroom? He knew she was very sexually active, but how far was she willing to go? He had some things he wanted to try: forget it with Melissa. It was never going to happen. Even semen revolted her.

"Could I ask you something, Ava? About...well, stuff in the bedroom...what you'd be willing to try?"

"Ask away."

"Would you do...anal?" he asked, very uncomfortable.

"Um...sure. All I ask is you shower first, empty your baggage and use protection. I'm very hygienic when it comes to back-door play."

"How about S&M?"

"Love it! No strangling though. And I need to know limits ahead of time."

"Sex toys?"

"Love them!"

"Threesomes?"

"Er...well. I've never done that...but willing to try it. They need to have a clean bill of health and use protection." She looked at Stu. "Did you have something in mind you want to try?"

"There are, but I wasn't sure how you would feel about it. I mean, I don't want to gross you out or anything."

"Well, I'm an open-minded person, Stu. I like to discuss stuff first so I know what I'm getting involved with so I can prepare myself. I insist that protection is used though. I'm not a fan of diseases. There have been a few men I've hooked up with who were into sick things that I didn't like...they kind of sprung it on me. And I don't like that."

"No, no. That's good. I don't like surprises either...unless it involves...well, surprising me with lingerie, that's fine."

"Well, I happen to have some back at the Mirage if you want to see." Ava said, her dark eyes glittering seductively.

"Er...well, let's just find Doug right now." He said, a bit nervously.

Ava shrugged. Stu felt comfortable being with Ava. How lucky was he! He had a girl who was willing to try stuff at least. It was good she had a few standards, of course. I guess they were two perverts!

"So, why did you bring it to Vegas? The ring, I mean." Ava asked.

"No reason. I..." he sighed. "I was planning on giving it to Melissa...once this trip was over. I was planning to propose to her...after your brother's wedding."

"You're going to marry her?" Ava said, surprised.

"Well, yea. I feel that it's time."

"I don't think you should, Stu," she said, earnestly.

Stu was a little irked that Ava, a girl who obviously hardly had a moral center, a free-love girl to put it nicely, had the nerve to say such a thing. Sure, he had feelings for her, but he couldn't just throw away four years of a relationship because of his possibly drunken series of one-night stands with Ava and spur-of-the moment marriage to her.

"Who are you to tell me what to do, Ava?" Stu said, a bit miffed. "Who I choose to marry is my choice."

"Like you did to me?"

"That was a mistake!" he spat. He regretted it right there.

Ava sucked in her lips, hurt. "Right." She replied, her voice strained. She swallowed. "Let's just find Doug."

He nodded. What the fuck was wrong with him?! Why did he say that? Stupid douchebag! Here he was, getting to know his new wife and he fucking blew it by calling their 'marriage' a mistake. Was it a mistake? Maybe he really wanted to marry Ava. But, she said it would be best if they annulled it. They probably would not be compatible...and yet, here she was, talking about stuff she was willing to do for him: from cooking Kosher to doing all crazy stuff in the bedroom.

_Just calm down, Stu!_ He told himself. It was just their first fight. Maybe she'd forgive him. Ava wasn't one to hold a grudge, really...was she?

"Well, we found out where the baby came from," said Phil. "Jade, the stripper, at your wedding. We have her address."

"Let's get this little guy back to his mommy," Ava said.

"Is...everything OK?" asked Phil, sensing tension between the two of them.

"No, everything's fine," Stu said. "We were just talking."

Ava nodded in agreement. They climbed into the police car.


	7. Two Ladies and Tasers

_Two Ladies and Tasers  
_

Stu's phone rang and they all jumped, pawing at their pockets.

"It's gotta be Doug!" they all exclaimed.

Stu looked at his phone and saw the number. Melissa! She had called twice already.

"It's Melissa," Stu announced.

"Don't answer it!" Phil ordered.

"I have to!" he said. "Hello?"

"Hey," said Melissa's voice. "I've called you twice already...only to have that whore answer the phone."

Obviously Melissa was talking about Ava.

"Did you fuck her? You will not be allowed to come home if you touched that disease-ridden slut!"

"No, no! We accidentally switched phones," Stu stammered, searching for an excuse that would be believable. "Ava ended up with my phone. I had to drive back to Sacramento and get it back from her."

Ava rolled her eyes, exasperated. Always making excuses for Melissa's sake. She thought...mmm...something to...She coyly looked up with a smirk and started stroking Stu's ankle with her foot, making him jump a bit.

"Would you stop that!" he whispered, covering the mouth piece.

"I'm not doing anything, honey," she giggled innocently.

"Who was that?" Melissa said, suspiciously.

"No one. Just some tourist near me. They're...on their honeymoon. We're just about to go on a tractor ride."

"Really? That's nice," Melissa said.

Stu rattled on and on about the fake vineyard and what they were doing, making excuses about the reception. Oh please! Ava decided to tease Stu a little. She started walking her fingers up his leg...oh my GOD! This girl was such a slut! A...very...hot...slut. He was weakening, his words wavering. She started making obscene gestures with her hands. Holy SHIT! He hoped Melissa wouldn't notice his distracted voice as he prattled on with his bullshit.

Suddenly, two cars blocked their path and two very angry Asian men who looked like thugs approached them. Phil locked the car doors. Ava had to admit she was scared.

"WHERE THE FUCK IS HE?!" shouted one of them.

"We don't know what you're talking about!" Phil shouted.

Soon, one of them took a baseball bat out of the car and smashed the windshield. The baby started crying and Ava screamed.

"Is that a baby?" Melissa snapped. "Who the fuck screamed?"

"No, no!" Stu said, weakly, trying to find more excuses to cover this up. "Uh...sir could you start the tractor?"

"I would!" Phil said, sarcastically. "But we're blocked."

"FUCK YOU, ASSHOLES!" Ava yelled at them. "LEAVE THEM ALONE!"

"Bitch, I'll fuck you up!" said one of them.

Suddenly Eddie came out with a shot gun to scare off the thugs. The Asian thugs brandished their own guns, pointing at them. Phil reversed the car, backing over one of the thug's foot and a shot rang out. Ava leaped onto Stu, hugging him tightly, shaking. Phil stepped on the gas, smashing the other cars and a bus stop, driving out into the boulevard, hearing angry honking from cars behind him. The baby and Ava were both crying. He calmed the baby down.

"Hey, hey," Stu said, softly, stroking Ava's hair. "I thought you were supposed to be the brave one."

"It was scary," Ava admitted. "I thought...you know...we were gonna die. If something happened..."

"It's OK, Ava. It's over now. We're safe."

He wiped Ava's tears away, seeing how scared she was. He really needed to stop being a pussy. What if someone got shot? That shit was scary.

"What the FUCK is going on here?!" Stu cried.

"I don't know!" Phil exclaimed, shaking. "We've got to calm down, Stu and find out."

Stu's phone rang and saw it was Melissa's number.

"Just let it go to voice mail," Phil said.

Stu sarcastically laughed. "No shit, dumb ass! And by the way, that was a fake laugh!"

"No shit, Sherlock!" Phil spat angrily.

"Would you boys shut the FUCK up?" Ava yelled. "We need to stop arguing and find my brother. We're running out of time."

They drove to Jade's address, which reminded them of a seedy hotel. They looked at the address on the paper, climbing stairs and looking at doors. Soon, a blonde woman stepped out of the apartment, talking on a cell phone. She was dressed in a skimpy outfit. Once she saw them, her mouth dropped open in a wide surprised O and broke out in a smile. She looked vaguely familiar.

"Oh! You brought my baby back! Thank you so much! I was worried sick about him!" she said, overly happy and relieved. "I went back to your hotel to pick up Tyler, but you were gone."

"No problem," Ava said, handing the baby to her. "He was in good hands." The baby pawed at Ava's short hair and her necklace, smiling.

"Thank you. He certainly likes you."

"Ah, what can I say? I'm a natural when it comes to kids."

"By the way, congrats on your wedding," she said. "Thank you _so_ much for having me your maid of honor. I was really honored. You were such a good friend."

"Hey! I'm a friendly girl." She said with a shrug.

Though she didn't even know Jade, she figured why not make a new friend.

"You guys want to come in?" asked Jade.

She invited them inside, which was air-conditioned, thank God! They went to the living room, sitting down. Typical apartment for a stripper: tiny, dingy, a bit messy with baby things scattered about. She poured them some lemonade and handed it to them.

"I hope I didn't ruin your wedding night," Jade said to Ava and Stu. "I didn't think you guys...well, did that..."

"What do you mean?" asked Stu, confused.

"You don't remember? Your wife and you...and me."

Stu's memory came again...

* * *

_Earlier that Evening_

_Two gorgeous girls, hanging off Stu, giggling drunkenly. They teased him with nibbles and licks on his ear! Ooh! Twice the fun! Two girls! A blonde and a brunette! It sort of reminded him of that song __"Two Ladies" from** Cabaret** where he played the EmCee in college, which he was embarrassed by. Oh, how Phil and Doug teased him so much after that! Hence his nickname, 'Dr. Faggot' was born. It was ONE time and needed a credit in order to graduate! Plus, all the other classes he wanted to take were full! Drama and Theater had one available opening and he took it.  
_

_He soon started imagining Ava and Jade, dressed in sexy German dirndls, black thigh high stockings and garters, singing that song in German accents and their hair plaited in braids. If only they were holding frosted beer mugs...that would be perfect!  
_

**_Und I'm the only man...ja! _**

_He laughed to himself.  
_

_Ava, Jade and Stu. What a trio! They went to the hotel, all of them kissing. They all went to Stu's room. Ava pushed Stu down on the bed, her eyes so seductive. _

_"Let me go get into something more...comfy," she said. _

_"OK, don't go away," Stu giggled. _

_"Or...would you prefer...if I did it...right here?"_

_"Yea! You have such a great body, Ava!" said Jade. "You should've been a dancer."_

_"Thanks," she said, a bit embarrassed.  
_

_Ava began to sing the striptease music, sashaying and slinking out of her dress while Stu watched, turning so he couldn't see her...goods. He watched as the wedding dress that they took from Eddie, was slowly slipped off of Ava's perfect ass, no panties. She was just in a black bra. She swayed her hips back and forth, looking over her shoulder at Stu._

_"Maybe we should put on a little show for Stewie," Ava said, smirking. "I'm sure he'd like that, won't you...hubby?"  
_

_"You bet, wifey!" he said, laughing.  
_

_"Would you mind doing a little girl-on-girl, Jade?"  
_

_"Not at all."_

_Ava leaned towards Jade and kissed her. Wow! The girls really got into it. Ava undressed Jade, very slowly, occasionally looking over at Stu. Jade just in her bra and thong.  
_

_"Should we include him?" Jade whispered, her lips just lingering over Ava's. "Don't you think he might be feeling a bit...left out?"  
_

_"Of course," Ava whispered. "This is EVERY guy's fantasy, Jade. Are you comfortable with this?"_

_"I suppose I could try. I've done this before, just not with women."_

_"Trust me, Jade. I know exactly what I'm doing." To Stu, she asked seductively, "What do you want me to do, Stu?"_

_"Kiss her more...grab those tits...and ass..." he shouted._

**_Two ladies...two ladies...und he's the only man, ja!...he likes it...we like it..._**

_Ava obliged. She was so WILD! She kept asking Stu what he wanted, and she obliged, teasing him with this little live show: titty play, fingering and pussy licking! Holy SHIT!_

_"You want to play with us, Stewie?" Ava purred. "You can join us."_

**_There's room on the bottom...if you drop in some night..._**

_Really?! With two girls?! A blonde and a brunette! Wow! It was his very dream come true! The best live porno dream come true EVER! The girls crawled onto the bed, his pants were gone. It went by in a blur: Ava gave Stu a blowjob while Jade kissed him. Ava and Jade fingering each other while each girl took turns kissing Stu or nibbling his ear or licking his neck. They even gave him a two-handed handie! SHIT! Holy FUCKING SHIT!_

**_We switch partners daily...to play as we please..._**

_Then they took turns fucking him while the girls fucked each other. Two sets of tits and pussies! Blonde and brunette. Moaning. _

**_Twosies beats onesies...but nothing beats three!_**

_A man's fantasy. A dream come true!_

**_Two ladies...two ladies...they like it...I like it..._****_There's two for one! BEEDLE-DEEDLE-DEEDLE-DEE!  
_**

* * *

Ava suddenly burst into giggles, blushing. Oh! She realized what they had done.

"Oh! Wow!" she said. "I...had no idea! I mean...yea, I've had sex with a woman before."

"You did?" Jade said, surprised. "Well, you certainly knew what you were doing."

"Well, it was a long time ago...when I was in college...I had a lesbian roommate and I wanted to experiment."

"Good to hear that you're comfortable with yourself, Mrs. Price."

"It's Ava. Anyway, have you seen my brother, Doug?"

"Yes. He was the best man at the wedding. I didn't know he was your brother, Ava."

While the girls kept chatting away, Stu heard nothing else that they were saying because his brain was screaming. He couldn't believe it! He actually...OMFG! What the fuck was wrong with him?! There had to be some kind of demon inside him! A demon that unleashed itself when he was fucked up last night.

Phil and Alan burst into laughter. Alan stared wide eyed, slack-jawed and stupefied. The both of them were a little jealous: how is it that Stu was able to have the stamina to do this? He must've been _really _sex-deprived by Melissa to be able to pull a stunt like that! Damn!

"A threesome, Stu!" Alan exclaimed. "That's awesome!"

"Shit, man! You are one lucky son of a bitch!" Phil laughed.

Again, Stu buried his head in his hands. He looked at Ava who was happily chatting with Jade like they were old friends. He fucked Ava three times, married her, then had a threesome with a stripper, possibly a prostitute. What the fuck was happening?! This went against everything that he had in his moral core.

Ava was just laughing it off like it was nothing. What the fuck was wrong with _her_? Did she have no shame? Didn't she care that what she did?

Stu ran outside, heaving, ready to be sick. Phil and Alan followed him outside. He doubled over, holding on the railing...he was going to have a heart attack. He was sure of it.

"Stu, what's wrong?" asked Alan. "What are you so upset about?"

"What am I upset about?" Stu spat, pissed. "I'm missing a tooth! I fucked and married my best friend's sister! I had a threesome with her AND a stripper, maybe a whore! I fucking CHEATED on my girlfriend! WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!" he screamed, his face red.

"Dude, calm down!" Phil said. "So, you did some crazy shit, so what?"

"So what?! This feels wrong in all sorts of ways imaginable. I cannot wait to find out what other crazy shit I did next!" he said sarcastically. "Not to mention, Ava is just laughing this shit off like it's nothing."

"Dude, it's Ava. She doesn't care if you had a threesome with her or if you married her. Did you tell her how you felt at least?"

"I...sort of. She said she would stay married to me...so I could get to know her."

"Dude...really?! What the _FUCK_? Why are you dragging this out, Stu?" Phil sighed.

"OK, thanks for everything!" Ava laughed. "Good meeting you, Jade!" She went to the boys. "She said that she didn't see Doug either at the hotel. She does remember seeing him at the chapel though."

"Could I talk to you?" Stu said.

"Sure," she said, smiling.

"How can you be so...nonchalant about this?!" Stu said, irritated. "Do you even care?"

"Not really. It was a night of stupid drunken debauchery. It doesn't mean anything to me."

Stu was offended. "So, having sex with me meant nothing?"

Ava frowned. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing, forget it." Stu lied, feeling a bit hurt.

Soon, two policemen ran over and arrested the four of them. What the fuck just happened?! What did they do?! I hoped it had nothing to do with the fact that they were with a prostitute. Of courses, it was legal in Vegas.

They were driven in the back of the car, handcuffed and stuffed in the back seat. Ava and Stu didn't looking at each other. Everything was going to shit. Ava was treating this like it was a big joke.

* * *

They were held in the booking station at the Las Vegas Police Department, all handcuffed to each other. Phil used a pay phone to make his one call to Tracy to let her know they were planning on staying in Vegas an extra day, promising to leave as early as possible. A cop was giving a tour to a group of kids, who referred to the area they were in as "Loserville". A fat blonde kid took a picture with his cellphone, which Alan kicked it out of his hand. Soon, the kid went up to Ava and smiled.

"Hi," he said.

Ava smiled. "Hi."

"You're pretty."

Ava smiled, flattered. "Thank you."

Suddenly, he grabbed her boobs and took off running. Ava was a little shocked, but she laughed it off. He was a kid...probably never felt boobs before. She didn't mind since preschoolers did it all the time when she worked at a daycare.

"Wow," Alan said. "Got felt up by a kid. You must've made his day."

Ava rolled her eyes.

Then a cop called their names and they awkwardly tangled as they followed the cop. They were uncuffed and they sat in an interrogation room. Two cops came in: a black chubby woman named Garden and a tall one with dark hair named Franklin.

"Gentleman and lady," announced Officer Franklin. "We got some good news and we got some bad news. The good news is we found your Mercedes."

The four of them heaved sighs of relief.

"We picked it up at 5 am this morning," Franklin continued. "We found it in the middle of Vegas Boulevard. Yea, that is weird. There was a note: it said, _Couldn't find a meter. Here's four bucks_." He tossed a napkin on the table. "The bad news is we can't get you in front of a judge until Monday morning."

Oh shit! This couldn't be good! They couldn't wait that long. Doug was getting married.

"Officers, we can't do that," said Phil. "We need to be in LA tomorrow. Our friend is getting married."

"You stole a police car!" stated Officer Garden.

"We didn't steal anything," Stu said. "We...found it."

"If anything," Alan began, dumbly. "We deserve a reward...a trophy or something."

Ava rolled her eyes. These guys were idiots.

"You know, we see you assholes like you every day," spat Franklin.

"Every _fuckin' _day!" Garden added.

"Let's go to Vegas. Let's get drunk and steal a cop car! Whoo." Franklin mocked with Garden joining in. "Let's steal a cop car because it's really fucking funny."

"And you think you're gonna get away with it? Not up in here!" Garden shouted.

"NOT UP IN HERE!" Franklin added.

Obviously, this was getting nowhere. Ava had been in situations like this before when she was pulled over...and yet, she managed to charm the pants off of cops many a times in her life. It was child's play! Make those big doe-eyes and just frown a little bit, batting her lashes, maybe open her shirt just a little bit...slowly, get a peek at her tits. Got them every time!

"Um...officers," Ava said in an innocent voice, sounding sorry. "If my intuition is correct, I guess that car belongs to one of you, right?" She leaned forward, played with a button, coyly. "We're...really, really sorry."

Officer Franklin cocked an eyebrow. He'd seen this act plenty of times...but this girl was hot. Why not? He got off on getting a free show. He had a wife of course, but that didn't stop him from...looking. That's when a button popped open...and oh! He could just see a shadow of her gorgeous tits. Ooh!

"Is there...anything we could do to...maybe make up for our little...oopsie?" Ava simpered, coyly. She was playing with the next button. "I'm sure we could work something out...hmm?"

Officer Franklin stared, hoped she would open another. Exciting! He sucked in his lips. Officer Garden was now staring too. She thought Ava was a hot little thing too.

"For a pretty girl like you, I'm sure we could work something out," said Franklin, smirking. "Would your...gentleman friends be willing to do something?"

"Well, ask _them_."

Garden looked over at Franklin and slid over a clipboard, pointing to something on a sheet of paper, grinning a bit evilly.

"Do any of you gentleman have heart conditions?" asked Franklin.

The boys raised their eyebrows, confused. What did Ava get them into? They excused themselves so they could talk privately with Ava.

"What are you doing?" Stu whispered.

Ava whispered. "Just do as they say. The more agreeable we are with them, the faster we can get out of here and find Doug."

She had a point. Did they really want to spend the weekend in jail? Plus, they were wasting time. They needed to find Doug. Garden slid over a clipboard that looked like some kind of waiver, which they all signed.

Officer Garden lead the men outside. Franklin said he wanted to talk to Ava in private.

"And you, my pretty girl, have you ever used a stun gun before?" Franklin asked.

"Um...pepper spray and mace."

"Good! You'll be just a natural..." Franklin smirked, wickedly.

"Well, I can...do a few things...if you want," she replied, flirtatiously, twirling a long bang.

"Oh-ho-ho, I'd say yes...if I didn't have a wife already."

"Too bad," Ava frowned playfully. "I happen to know a few dirty tricks that would drive guys crazy."

"Say...if you wouldn't mind...would you give me a few tips? My wife and I are...having some...well..."

"Trouble in the bedroom? Sure! No problem."

She leaned towards Officer Franklin and whispered the most dirty, depraved things in his ear while he shuddered lecherously. He could just imagine doing those things to his wife right now. This girl definitely had experience. He was going to try those things out tonight. Stu watched through the door window, jealously as Ava flirted with Officer Franklin, giggling and whispering.

Soon, they went out of the interrogation room, leading them down the hall.

"Just don't forget to let her know first...make sure she's OK with it." Ava finished.

"Thanks," Officer Franklin said.

"Seriously!" spat Stu. "Do you have to flirt with _every _guy we encounter, Ava?"

"Hey!" Ava said. "I just saved your asses from getting thrown in jail! Be thankful, at least."

"She's right, Stu," said Alan. "We have us a get out of jail free card."

Stu rolled his eyes. Alan...dumb fuck! Yet, he had to admit he was right...for once.

"Jesus, Stu!" Ava said. "What's your problem? Are you jealous?"

"No! I'm...not...jealous..." he stammered a bit, his face flushed a bit, trying to suppress his feelings.

"You're jealous! You're _actually_ jealous!" Ava said, laughing.

"Well, you're my wife, Ava...and I don't like it when you do that."

Ava cocked an eyebrow. Why was Stu acting so weird?

"I do hope you're not going to control me like Melissa does you, Stu," Ava said. "I don't like men like that."

"Well, maybe you need to be controlled a bit." OMFG! What the fuck did he just say? What was wrong with him? He was sounding just like Melissa now.

"Excuse me?" she said, narrowing her eyes and crossing her arms.

"Nothing," he said, quietly.

Ava didn't like this side of Stu too much. Sure, he was a sweet guy...yet seeing this controlling side of him was ugly.

"I will not be your bitch, Stu!" she said. "Just so you know. I expect to be treated like you would want to be treated: respect and equality. I would never treat you like Melissa does."

"Why don't you mind your own business about me and Melissa?" he said. "My relationship is fine with her."

Ava scoffed. "Right." She coughed, which sounded like 'bitch'. Stu was starting to get pissed off. Why did Ava treat everything like a joke, then stick her nose in his business? What balls!

They went into a classroom that had some kids sitting at desks.

"Alright!" said Officer Franklin. "These three gentleman have agreed to volunteer demonstrate how a stun gun is used to subdue a suspect." WHAT?! What did they just sign? What did Ava get them into? "And this pretty lady here is Ava. She will demonstrate as well...but we won't taser this pretty lady, won't we?"

The kids all said scattered nos and shook their heads.

Franklin whispered to her. "You have that pepper spray on you?" She nodded. Back to the kids, he announced, "She has kindly agreed to demonstrate how pepper spray is used."

There were scattered oohs and ahhs from the kids, filled with wonder.

"OK. There's two ways you can use a stun-gun: up close and personal." He handed her a taser. "Just pull the trigger, Ava. You can taser any one you want."

Ava pressed the trigger, deciding who to use it on. Maybe she'd just use it on Stu. He called her _that_ word. Asshole! Teach him a lesson to never call her that disgusting, degrading word! She touched the metal prongs into Stu's neck, which he screamed loudly and collapsed on the floor as he felt thousands of volts pass through his body. The room burst with peals of children's laughter. She couldn't help but laugh too. Phil threw his hands up in surprise and cursed 'fuck' and Alan just stared dumbly.

"Sorry, Stu!" she apologized, grimacing.

She really regretted it now. Maybe she went too far. She did slap him and that would've been enough. She could be so impulsive when she was angry.

"And, of course, you can shoot from a distance. Any volunteers?"

The kids raised their hands eagerly, some out of their seats. Officer Franklin selected a girl, which she eagerly came up.

"OK, let's go, handsome," Franklin said, beckoning towards Phil. Alan stepped forward. "Not _you_, fat Jesus! You! Pretty boy!" He pointed to Phil.

He handed her the taser and pointed it at Phil, which a infrared light shined on his chest.

"You don't want to do this," Phil said, his voice shaking.

"Just stay focused," Franklin said.

Phil tried to talk the girl out of it, but it was pointless. Ava watched as the light dipped down from his chest to...*Click* went the trigger...Phil went stiff and began to convulse, his eyes bugling out of his sockets and the low hum of electricity.

"OHHH! Right in the nuts!" laughed Franklin. "That was beautiful!"

The kids laughed so hard, even Ava couldn't help but laugh herself. Then, the room burst with applause.

"OK!" announced Franklin, removing the used charge. "We got one more charge left. Anyone else?"

The kids hands raised up eagerly. Franklin picked a blonde boy, who got up with an intense look in his eye. Alan was the last one to be tasered. Franklin handed him the stun-gun and he pointed it at Alan's chest, slowly moving up...*Click* The hum of electric went again, Alan's eyes bulging out and he was paralyzed.

"In the face!" shouted Franklin with glee. "IN THE FACE!" He turned to Ava. "You wanna use that pepper spray?"

"Fuck yea!" she said.

"Now, watch how this pretty lady takes down this guy."

Ava took out her pepper spray and doused him in the eyes, which Alan screamed loudly like a girl and collapsed. "Great job! Great job! Let's give a hand to our lovely volunteer, Ava here!"

The kids laughed some more and clapped.

"OK! Who wants to get their fingerprints done?" Franklin said.

The kids eagerly got out of their chairs and followed another policeman to the back of the room. Ava knelt next to Stu, who was writhing in pain, clutching his neck.

"Hey, are you OK?"

"I'm fine," he grunted.

"Look, I'm sorry...I tasered you."

"It's fine," he said, painfully. "I'm used to it...getting beat up anyway."

"Melissa beats you up?" she said, horrified. "Give me your phone. I'm gonna give that bitch a piece of my mind."

"No! No. Just stay out of it, please! I don't..."

"No! This is not acceptable!" She stole Stu's phone. She dialed Melissa's number.

"Stu?" said Melissa's awful voice.

"Listen up, bitch," Ava said.

"Who is this?!"

"You know goddamn well who this is. If you _ever_ lay a finger on Stu again, I will pound your face into the cement, bitch!"

"Ava? Are you with Stu?"

"Yes I am. And we're in Vegas. We got married and had a threesome. He said it was better than his Saturday night, staring at your constipated face, you frigid bitch."

Stu yanked the phone out of her hands. "Hey, honey...sorry! Ava was just kidding around."

"What the fuck is Ava doing with you?" Melissa demanded.

"We're picking her up. She missed the bus home."

"I hope you're not lying to me, Stu!"

"I'm not." There was a tremor in his voice. "I'll talk to you later. Bye." He pocketed his phone. "Why...the FUCK would you do that?!" he screamed.

"I know I said I wouldn't do that again, Melissa needed to hear a piece of my mind. I'm not taking it back either. If there is one thing I hate, it's women who control their men and beat them up. You don't deserve that, Stu. You're a good man with good heart."

Stu was touched. Sure, Ava was very impulsive. He didn't know whether to cry or get angry, but still...he was overwhelmed. He just nodded quietly, words failing him. Perhaps Ava was the right one for him...maybe those three years with Melissa would be a practice drive. Three years, wasted only to be cheated on and repulsed by his very presence. Who knew what it would be like to live with Ava? 


End file.
